It’s not much fun knowing all weekend that, odds on, you are going to have to let someone go first thing Monday morning. Especially in this economy. Still, there are times when it is absolutely necessary. And I’ve never been as certain that it was necessary as I was today.
Here’s the sad thing. It wasn’t because of downsizing. In fact, business is so good, we are in the midst of hiring. The reason was because a person’s personal issues so interfered with day-to-day activities that the disruptions not only caused disturbances in one office, but also in surrounding ones. There’s no value in going over the specific details. The point is simply: Oftentimes, the reason someone is let go has as much to do with the inability to manage one’s inner and personal life as it does with more obvious external events. So, why, then, I often wonder, is it so hard for people to “get” that they need to work on themselves? How is it that people blunder along, blaming others for things that only they are responsible for?
It simply is true that more often than not, if you feel like blaming someone for what is happening in your life, the sensation is as much a signal of emotional danger as is the red muleta to the bull at the corrida. Blame is a major cop-out. It may provide temporary relief from whatever is really causing pain. It just will never heal the original wound.
It’s not easy to step back and ask, “What is my contribution to this situation?…. What might I possibly have been getting out of this that was satisfying something within me?” Easy or not, having the courage to mess with these kinds of questions often does open doors inside ourselves that can provide answers we never expected. And stop us from repeating past errors. Been there. Done that. Don’t particularly want to do it again.